To say I'm getting lost in the day to day would be a stark understatement. I feel as if my mind is beginning to play tricks on me; it can't be a "disorder" as my doctor has told me. But I take my pills, make my coffee, discipline my kids, and pray. Hard. Tearfully at times. I can bury myself in the dirty clothes to clean, the soap scum to scrub, and the plants to plant. When everyday runs together it gets easy to become fiercely numb. It's like I'm on the outside, looking in at one of those car accidents on the highway. Slow motion, noticing the faces of the victims, the witnesses, the people standing on the shoulder wishing they could help.
Tomorrow is a new day. I'll have a few drinks tonight and hope I can stay asleep til morning. I have a few errands to run. No money in the bank so it should be a quick trip. The sun is supposed to make an appearance soon, this month, perhaps. I'm not holding my breath.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121:1,2
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